well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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