I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like heaven, but drunker
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
