It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
