I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
