Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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