i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize