no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
