I'm going to jail i love you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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