Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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