I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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