i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
