Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.

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(607): View more from New York

Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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(515): View more from Iowa

oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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(716): View more from New York

I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card

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