I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think i have herpe
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.