No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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