pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
