my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
