I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
