He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
