Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize