Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
