i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
