The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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