is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
