I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
