Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
