Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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