Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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