You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
