hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We have started to decorate penises.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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