come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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