Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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