Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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