I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
