I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
