im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
