when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
