i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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