So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
