At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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