Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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