I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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