I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
