I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
