well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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