If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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