Don't you send me to vm
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
