Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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