You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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