the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
