dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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