Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
