Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
