oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
