Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize