I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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