I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
