I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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