Screwed.edu
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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