Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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