Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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