For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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