I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
