You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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